Monday, August 28, 2017

Scared

This is scary. I don't think anyone quite understands how freaking scary this is for me.

It's certainly less scary than the last time, because once you've been caught, it's easier to jump. But it's still so freaking scary.

We're still learning. No one understands how high the cliff is, no one understands how sharp the rocks are at the bottom, no one realizes just how instantly I'll shatter if they can't catch me. And believe me, you've missed on occasion. But I trust you. We're still just learning.

I am so scared of tomorrow. But I can handle it. I really believe that I can handle it. Not in the positive-thought way, but in the sense that I can handle expressing my needs, I can handle explaining how high the cliff is and how sharp the rocks are and how many pieces I'll break into if this trust-fall doesn't work. And I can trust you to listen and understand, and trust myself to know if you do.

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