Saturday, March 19, 2016

Fuck Off

We broke up the Tuesday night before Easter. It was in April that year, but I go by landmark dates, like the Tuesday before Easter, and that Tuesday is coming up. I didn't take any days off from work. ANY days. I was a temp so I didn't have sick time, personal time, or anything to show for it. Being a temp was like I wasn't even there. My official hire date is the day I went perm, so the fucking horror show I lived through as temp didn't even register as me working for the company. I would have had to take the sick time unpaid, and while I could have, I was too afraid to tell my boss what had happened. As a temp I spent my whole time tiptoeing around as if I was still in a job interview, and I had a different boss back then and wasn't as comfortable talking to him about things. So I went to work for three more days after the  breakup. I wasn't even eating, but I went to work. Then I found out I'd be training for a new position the following week. That is already so fucking stressful and I was NOT in any way well enough to do that. The Saturday after the breakup, I wanted to just visit a friend and cry on them all day, but I had to clean my stuff out of my ex's apartment. It needed to be done, and the sooner, the better, so I did that on Saturday. Then there was Sunday. The first day that I SHOULD have had off to myself, to do what I wanted to do which was to just talk about my feelings and cry and cuddle all day long, but it was Easter, so I was stuck going to visit my grandma in the nursing home. Now, I didn't have an apartment of my own back then. I lived with my parents, so going to Easter meant that I couldn't go and visit a friend. If I hadn't had to go to Easter, I would have spent my whole day with a friend and slept over at their house, but I never got to do that because I was expected to go to Easter when I was having a fucking crisis. I was in a crisis and I had to wait MORE THAN A WEEK before i had a day to myself to just do what i wanted to do because of fucking work and fucking Easter.

Why ANYONE  would think that I would still go to Easter again after that happened is beyond me.

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