Sunday, July 5, 2015

My Name

It was around this time last year that I changed my name to Amelia and decided not to go by Nicole or Nikki anymore. I still keep signing everything "Nikki" because deep down I'd like to use that name again, but I would need to have people use the phrase "That's Nikki" in a positive, affectionate way, more often than my ex used that phrase to automatically mean something negative. I'm NOT a survivor type. I'm not the kind of person who's gonna not let it bother me when someone uses my name as an insult or the kind of person who's going to take back my name on my own. I'm realizing now that I would honestly love to go by Nikki again, but that's only ever gonna happen if other people use the phrase "That's Nikki" in an affectionate way a lot of times, enough times to cancel out all the times it was used as an insult.

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