Thursday, June 11, 2015

Yes, I'm Serious, Part 2

If I went on TV and Dr. Phil told me that I was a smart, capable young woman and lots of other nice things about me, and then said that I didn't have the right to throw my life away with drugs or drinking or laziness or whatever the hell I was doing...I would think about killing myself right there on national TV. Okay, maybe I wouldn't actually do that, but it is MY life and I will not stand to be guilt tripped or have anyone tell me that my life is not mine to do what I want with or that I'm obligated to apply skills that I never asked for and never would have developed had I known I would be pushed to apply them to things. Yes, I'm serious.

Sometimes I really think that I need to either carry protection on me or learn to fight ten people at once. What I'm worried about is getting an intervention. (And I mean a real intervention where everyone gangs up on you and maybe even get professionals involved, not just one person ordering me around). People have shown me time and time again that they will not respect my boundaries when I say stop, when I say that I don't want to change and I am not staying friends with people who push me to change. People just don't accept the level of absolute validation and non-pressuring that I require from anyone I'm going to interact with, and I get very concerned that people might do an intervention on me. Let me just say that all those books you've read that say you should Tell An Adult about your friend and get them in trouble and thrown into therapy or something and your friend will thank you later on? Some friends might be that way, but I'm not. I won't thank you later on. Not only will I never speak to you again if you try an intervention on me, but I will hunt you down and make your life miserable. My only concern is that I won't be able to fight people off if they try a real intervention on me, so I need to have an easy way out. I need to always have a way out in case of an intervention because I'm really not interested in being on this planet if I'm gonna be forced to change when I don't want to. Yes, I'm serious. I don't have any interest in being here if that's what's gonna happen, so I would need an instant way out in case someone did an intervention on me that I couldn't escape from. My friend Eli was gonna try to teach me how to fight and how to be brainwash-proof, but until then, I would need a way out. I'd like to think that the odds of an intervention are low, but based on how little most people listen when I say to back the fuck off, I think the odds are pretty high. So I'll have to come up with a way out just in case. 

No comments:

Post a Comment