Friday, May 22, 2015

Very Upsetting

(Suicide Content)

A student killed himself at Colby:

ALL of the article and every other article I've found about this is about accomplishments. All just fucking socially desirable accomplishments! That's IT!!!! Not one word about what might have been wrong or why he might have killed himself ANYWHERE. Every news article I've found about this is exactly the same - they talk about him as if he died of natural causes or something and hardly mention the fact that he killed himself.

Oh, except for that one teensy-weensy comment about, "watch out for one another and seek support for yourself as needed."  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG That's a good one!!! Let's see, I'm trying to think of a time that someone at Colby College supported me when I told how miserable I was....yeah, I got nothing.

And this makes me absolutely SICK:

They push people to return to their normal activities, when that is NOT RIGHT FOR EVERYONE and some of us need fucking time off!!!!!!

But more importantly, THEY ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO NOT THINK ABOUT THIS SPECIFIC EVENT!!!! They literally tell everyone to focus on their own healing and not to think about the details about the actually suicide or why he might have done it, even though that information is FUCKING IMPORTANT.

If I ever kill myself, PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE DETAILS, please do not listen to anyone who tries to brainwash you into thinking that these things just happen and nothing can be done, and please do not think for a second that the actual event does not matter and only getting better matters. If any of my friends ever kill themselves, I will want to know absolutely every detail there is to know about the situation and I will want to know what I missed and what I should have done for them so that I never ever ever let it happen again. The Colby counselors are just going to brainwash everyone into not thinking about what actually happened and returning to their normal lives. I would NEVER return to my normal life after that, and if I killed myself, I would never want other people to return to their normal lives either.

"If you are struggling with emotional concerns or suicidal feelings, please let us help you"  Ummmm....when I talked to a Colby counselor about jumping off the library tower, she told me I shouldn't do that because it might affect her career. I've also heard of several students who were kicked off campus against their will because they said that they were suicidal, even in cases where they said that all of their support was at Colby and going home would be worse. So yeah....

And as for the "information" about suicide prevention that they claim was made available, it was all about referring someone to counseling services. There was never any information about actually being a good friend and listening and not invalidating people's experiences - it was all about convincing your friend to seek "professional" help which would most likely lead to them being kicked off campus.

Oh, and that group that the counselors mention called "Active Minds?" Yeah, they started up when I was a senior and said they were having a first meeting. I was so excited to finally have a support group where I could talk about my feelings and how no one at Colby would ever listen to feelings that weren't positive or political. When I got to the Active Minds group where I wanted to talk about my feelings, it was literally, "We're having an event where anyone who knows someone with a mental illness can stick a ribbon onto the student union wall." That's it. That's all the group was doing. No talking about our feelings, just an "awareness" event. And it wasn't even if *you* had a mental illness, it was if you *knew* someone who had a mental illness, because everyone knows that Colby kids aren't like that. So yeah...don't actually talk about your feelings with anyone, just join a group that sticks ribbons on walls.

I just think it's completely disrespectful to this student to not talk about what was actually wrong, to just play up the fact that he had "everything" going for him and this came out of nowhere. These things don't come out of nowhere. I would not be surprised if he left a note that explained things and the school is just being all hush hush about it. Not at all.

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