Thursday, February 5, 2015

Fuck Off

A few things:

1. No, I did not make this extremely big decision on the spur of the moment. It took me five years to do what I did, and I even discussed this with someone who wasn't involved at all in the conflict. It may have seemed out of nowhere, but I was thinking about this for years. I'm hurting too. But it got to a point where keeping things the way they were was hurting me more than having things be sort of over is hurting me now. That's the truth.

2. I have a major problem with anyone implying that it would have been some sort of a problem if I had made this decision on the spur of the moment because of how bad I was feeling. I AM ENTITLED TO MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!! I do not give a fuck about logical reasoning. I only care about feelings and I make ALL of my decisions based on my feelings and NONE of them based on logic. My choice to make friends with someone is based on feelings, my choice to stay friends with someone is based on feelings, and my choice to stop will also always be based on feelings. I will never use logical reasoning for anything. While it's true that I thought this out for a long time, my choice would not have been less valid if I had spent less time thinking about it and it had been more spur of the moment.

3. If I said to someone (hypothetically), "I'm not okay with you making these sneaky comments about my weight and pushing diets and gyms on me, and I don't feel like I can be friends if this continues," THAT IS NOT EVEN DITCHING THE PERSON!!!!! That is giving the person a chance to say, "I'm sorry, I'll stop doing that from now on." But nope.  Apparently I'm always gonna be the bad guy no matter what anyone else is doing, especially if they're doing something that's commonly accepted as okay. Especially if they're the one with all the social capital and I'm the one that's just being "tolerated" until I feel better.  I don't care what anyone else thinks. I don't care if you have literally never met anyone in your entire life like me. If I say it's not okay, it's not okay.

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