Saturday, July 12, 2014

Positive Problem Solving

I want to start writing more posts like this one:

http://yourownkindofmusic.blogspot.com/2014/01/eating-out-for-picky-eaters.html

I like this post about advice for picky eaters eating out because it's straight to the point, validating, and offers solutions to the problem. I don't know...I guess I get tired of writing only angry and depressing stuff all the time, and this post is a perfect example of how to be validating and positive at the same time. My mom always gave me this same advice for ordering at a restaurant when I didn't like anything at first glance because she knew that I was picky and would end up in that situation. It was very practical advice, but a lot of people don't get advice like that. A lot of people just get told to stop being so picky or to suck it up and deal, even though there are very simple solutions to the problem. I didn't realize it at the time, but by giving me this advice, my mom was validating the fact that I was picky and saying that there was nothing wrong with that. That's why I like this post a lot - because it gets tiresome having to constantly fight people who are invalidating and calling them out all the time, but the picky eating post gives a positive solution to the problem and helps people, and the validation is just inherent in the advice. It says, "It's perfectly fine to be picky - here's what to do when a common problem situation for picky-eaters arises."

I want to write more posts like this. I had lots of ideas like this when I was younger. It's just hard because my ideas have changed a lot now. Like, most advice I would have given when I was younger about how to survive in the system, I don't agree with promoting now because I feel like the systems have to change. I don't want to go out promoting "how to get by" when my real goal is to get rid of what people need to get by in. I don't want to put the responsibility on the individual.

I always liked going out to eat for the social experience, and I think that's why this post worked. Because being a picky eater doesn't necessarily mean that you didn't want to go to the restaurant in the first place. Sometimes I was relieved to go out to eat when I was with a friend's family because I figured I may not like what they were making for dinner, but at a restaurant I could choose what I wanted. Most of the time when I go out to eat, the point is to hang out with my friends or family. Even when I was a very picky eater, I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on a fun time with people I loved because I was worried about finding nothing on the menu. So I didn't see my picky-eating advice as "How to survive in a situation that you'll inevitably be forced into." I saw it more as, "How to be able to do something you like and make it work for you."

And I would like to write more posts like this because I get tired of always pointing out problems without being able to fix them on a major level. It feels good to just give some positive advice that people can use instantly.

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