Friday, March 8, 2013

Worst Four Years

These are the lyrics to the Avenue Q song, "I Wish I Could go Back to College," in blue, with my own commentary in black.

I wish I could go back to college. Life was so simple back then.
Actually, college was the most complicated time of my life. Life is much simpler now.
What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again.
Living in a dorm was one of my worst experiences.
I wish I could go back to college. In college you know who you are.
I knew who I was in high school. College took away my identity.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my god, I am totally gonna go far!"
That's how I felt in high school - like a superstar. College made me feel like nothing.
How do I go back to college? I don't know who I am anymore.
Yeah, it took a while to remember who I was again after leaving college - I had to erase those four years and think back to high school.
I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door.
Why does this song assume I got messages in college just because I had a dry-erase board?
I wish I could just drop a class.
I wished this too. Unfortunately I couldn't just drop a class I didn't like because I needed credits to graduate. I would either need AP credits entering college, or I'd have to take an over-loaded schedule later on.
Or get into a play.
Ha! I went to college for the purpose of being in plays and only got into 1 play in 4 years. Why does this song make it sound so easy?
Or change my major.
Or fuck my T.A.
I wish! Romance did not exist at my school unless you wanted to get drunk.
I need an academic advisor to point the way.
I never discussed anything with my academic advisors except what classes I needed to take to graduate. I once tried to talk to one about a personal problem and he gave me a "Why are you telling me this?" kind of response.
We could be sitting in the computer lab, 4 A.M. before the final paper is due
Cursing the world 'cause I didn't start sooner, and seeing the rest of the class there, too.
That is not a place I would ever want to be again. And for the record, the rest of my class was never there.

I'm not against this song because it is just part of the Avenue Q story, but it's an example of the "best four years" mentality that's pushed on us. One of the worst parts of college was being told every day that these were the best years of my life and that everything was only going to get harder and worse. Not one single person believed me when I said that I'd be happier if I'd never gone to college. How would you like it if someone told you that something you hated was the best that you would ever have?

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