Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Booked

From elementary school through high school, my birthday always fell during February vacation, and I usually had lots of fun planned. There was one year - sixth grade - when I had one of the best winter breaks ever, with something fun planned for 6 of the 9 days we had off.  That year I was also in the school musical, and our dance captain wanted to schedule a dance practice during winter break. When she asked if anybody couldn't rehearse at all during winter break because they were going somewhere, I raised my hand and explained that I was busy for most of the vacation.

Looking back now, I had more time to rehearse than I thought at the time. For my birthday sleepover party, I counted both days as booked, even though my friends were leaving before noon on the second day. And a few other events, like the day that my aunt was taking me to the movies, were not going to last all day. But I've never been someone who liked to be super busy, and it would have been stressful to try to squeeze in a rehearsal on a day when I had something else planned.

I'm bringing this up now because, while I may try to fit things into my schedule because I feel like I'm supposed to, I really feel threatened when I already have plans and I have to try to squeeze something else in. I've done it, but it's not something I want to do - it's something I'm trying to stop doing. Because inside, I'm still the same person I was in sixth grade when I said that my winter break was booked.

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