Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dear Summer

Dear Summer,

Things haven’t been the same between us lately, and you have the right to know why. You and I have had the most amazing relationship for the past 18 years. I fell in love with you the day I started pre-school. From then on, when someone asked about my favorite season, I was quick to tell them about you.

Our relationship wasn't always exclusive – you understood that other seasons had a place in my life. You stood by while I went trick-or-treating and built snow forts. You knew no matter how much fun I had with the others, I would always love you more.

I grew closer to fall and winter once high school began – they came with more fun activities than before. Some years I even felt excited as my time with you ended and my date with autumn began. But every spring, I spent most of my days just waiting for you to take me away. No matter what the other seasons gave me, they came with a price. A price only you didn't carry. When you held me, I was where I belonged.

Things changed between all of us once college began. Seasons I thought were my friends turned their backs on me. Fall became more aggressive when it ripped me from your embrace. Spring carried a ritual that was a deal-breaker by default. And winter just kept me too far from you. For the last four years, you were the only one I loved.

I value our relationship as much as you do, but I’m afraid it won’t work out anymore. See, part of my love for you stemmed from my dislike of the other seasons. But I don’t hate them anymore, and I don’t love you anymore, at least not the way I used to. If someone asked me now about my favorite season, I would say that I don’t know, that I need a few years to decide. For in this new life, all of you have a clean slate. I need to carve jack-o-lanterns and go sledding and ride my bike when the snow melts, and see which of you is really the most fun.

Our relationship will never be what it was – we will never again cram a year’s worth of fun into our short time together. I won't push you past your limits to compensate for what the other seasons couldn't give me.

I hope we can still have an open relationship. Please understand that this way is better for me. It’s better to love all four seasons – to not grow ill as our time together ends, to not waste my time waiting for you to come, and to not depend on you for a year’s supply of happiness. Really, it’s better for both of us.

I hope you'll find some new kids who love you as I once did, and that you'll do for them what you did for me. But I will never forget our years together, and the years that you were all I lived for. Perhaps a part of me will always love you more.

Until next year,

Nikki

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